That's all I want to be in life. An amazing individual. I don't want to be mediocre, just doing what I'm told to do. I want to push myself to the limit.. and then break it.
In everything I do, I strive to be amazing. Volleyball is my best example - I figured, if I was amazing, and could put his girlfriend to shame, Then he'd notice me. Well.. I was noticed alright. As a captain trying to drag her team along with her in a game.. it was a bit ridiculous. But Change is in the air...
And this year, I want to be amazing in High jump. That's why everytime I do jump training, I enjoy the pain - the burn in my legs and their near collapsing with exhaustion I smile about. It's making me amazing. I will be awesome, and I will advance to regionals in high jump.
I will be amazing in the play with my role as the Stepsister and Snow White. I won't let my teamates down like I've been let down. It sucks, and the despair of knowing when the person you were counting on backs out... all 5 of them on the court... it kills my soul. I'm ready for volleyball this year.
I want a chance to prove that I'm not a freak who's single-minded to the point of recklessness. Although, I very well may be. I want to be someone worth something to someone.
I want to be amazing.
Mood: ...?
Listening to: Stand in the Rain
January 28, 2008
January 17, 2008
2 weeks
Wow, It's funny how things can go. LIke how one minute, your life seems almost perfect.
You have a best friend.
The male you've been talking to for 3 months might actually like you.
And Your boys have a basketball game in a Town close to you for once.
LIfe's going good.
Until your best friend starts hating you for not believing a RUMOR about your other good friend.
So I run a mile to release my anger. In the cold, against the wind.
I sprinted the last 100 yards.
And I still wasn't through.
So then, the male calls and wants to know if I'm going to the game, and fortunately, I get to go.
Mostly because my Daddy loves me. :]
And I got to the Game, Glad to see my boys, and be around some MALES. Away from the drama. of Females.
It was AMAZING. I loved it.
But the male was acting all weird and standoffish (But you meet a new friend, so i'ts all good. =) )
But when Jamee asks if I wanted to eat at the salon tomorrow, and I told her I was going with Savanna, and she Flips out, refusing to speak to me. FOR TWO DAYS this has been going on.
I guess I no longer have a best friend.
And the male, decides we can't work out because of distance, and I'm too much of a prude. o_o;
Wow.
Never in my LIFE have I wished it were volleyball season.
I just keep telling myself, 2 more weeks.
And in that two weeks, I can practice my flute and run. With or without other people.
Nobody has control over my happiness, but me.
If they want to ignore me, or act like they know my desires, They can go for it.
Cause I really don't care.
It doesn't bother me.
I know what I'm made of.
What I stand for.
And what picks me up when I'm down.
Volleyball/Running.
my other friends.
and Phantom of the Opera.
And occaisionally Edgar Allan Poe.
Cause the dark morbid ness makes me happy.
Mood: Rampant
Listening to: Almost Lover - A fine frenzy
You have a best friend.
The male you've been talking to for 3 months might actually like you.
And Your boys have a basketball game in a Town close to you for once.
LIfe's going good.
Until your best friend starts hating you for not believing a RUMOR about your other good friend.
So I run a mile to release my anger. In the cold, against the wind.
I sprinted the last 100 yards.
And I still wasn't through.
So then, the male calls and wants to know if I'm going to the game, and fortunately, I get to go.
Mostly because my Daddy loves me. :]
And I got to the Game, Glad to see my boys, and be around some MALES. Away from the drama. of Females.
It was AMAZING. I loved it.
But the male was acting all weird and standoffish (But you meet a new friend, so i'ts all good. =) )
But when Jamee asks if I wanted to eat at the salon tomorrow, and I told her I was going with Savanna, and she Flips out, refusing to speak to me. FOR TWO DAYS this has been going on.
I guess I no longer have a best friend.
And the male, decides we can't work out because of distance, and I'm too much of a prude. o_o;
Wow.
Never in my LIFE have I wished it were volleyball season.
I just keep telling myself, 2 more weeks.
And in that two weeks, I can practice my flute and run. With or without other people.
Nobody has control over my happiness, but me.
If they want to ignore me, or act like they know my desires, They can go for it.
Cause I really don't care.
It doesn't bother me.
I know what I'm made of.
What I stand for.
And what picks me up when I'm down.
Volleyball/Running.
my other friends.
and Phantom of the Opera.
And occaisionally Edgar Allan Poe.
Cause the dark morbid ness makes me happy.
Mood: Rampant
Listening to: Almost Lover - A fine frenzy
January 3, 2008
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