So much stuff has been happening lately. It's crazy. Between Reid, Malcolm, the band director, and the volleyball team, I've had enough drama to last me about 5 years.
Reid and I hung out at the ACU game. That was fun. =) It's was totally as a just friends thing, because I had essentially decided that I was through with him when he fed me the same line I had fed Malcolm like.. 2 weeks earlier. Malcolm decided to hold my hand on the way back from the game, and me thinking that Reid was out of the picture for good, decided that maybe the malcolm fling could work this time around. Well sunday night, Reid and I had a lengthy conversation (Until about 1 AM) and we found out the real reson we had been frustrated with each other and took a break, decided that we still love each other, and everything has been peachy since.
Only, once Malcolm found out, he flipped out on me and didn't speak to me for 3 and a half days. Accused me of using him as a rebound. Hah. Stupid boy. He swooped me up the second I was single, remember? But Friday he spoke.
And the band director really doesn't like me. He's an ass. With all due respect, of course. *sarcasm*
The volleyball team has to battle it out against Childress on Tuesday for the title of district champion, and the gold trophy for the trophy case. I'm really anxious about it.. I feel like we're destined to win it and get the happy ending for the Cinderella story of the Texas panhandle high school volleyball programs. I just hope my team shows up to play, cause there is so much at stake.
Ines and I are going shopping today. Which sounds like fun. So now I'm leaving, to go do that. =)
October 26, 2008
October 5, 2008
Purpose.
I'm beginning to understand certain aspects of my life better than I did a few years back. My main purpose here, is for healing. Not necessarily for myself, but for others usually dealing with the loss of a father, or someone else they were close to.
Jordan - My cousin, and one of my best friends. Lost her father Thanksgiving day when I was 11. The first time I had to deal with anything on this level, and I still have to help her through certain times when she misses him today...
Jamee - A girl I had just become fairly good friends with right before her sister died to cancer. I was there for her when she needed me most. And when we couldn't take as much of each other any more, we drifted apart.
Ryan - My first 'boyfriend', lost his father 2 months before we got together... Something about me drew him to me for a time. He lost his uncle while we were together, and two grandparents afterwards... Learned a LOT through him.
Around here I start getting visits from a tigress in my dreams. She is apart of me, but much more vicious. In one dream, she knocked Ryan unconcious. From that point in real life, we haven't talked hardly at all.
Bo - A guy I used to have a thing for... but that's another saga in itself. The tigress killed him in a dream. Ripped out his jugular and watched him die, choking in his own blood. She was protecting herself.
Reid - Had a grandfather who had complications with his heart one night, and was flown to the hospital in Amarillo. Reid was freaking out... I fell asleep, and dreamt of his grandfather's hospital room, my tigress lying on the foot of his Grandad's hospital bed, protectively, and using her energy to heal him. The first time I had seen my tigress in a light that offered hope, instead of destruction.
Malcolm - His father has been battling cancer for the past 5 years... Around the start of school, Malcolm realized he's attracted to me, but doesn't know why. A few weeks ago, his father went back to the hospital, but was set to be realeased last Monday. Not 3 blocks from the hospital, his father has an aneurysm. Malcolm comes to see me at 9:30 before taking off to Lubbock to see his father; said he had to come see me before he left. I hugged him and hoped everything would be alright. About 11:30, I hadn't heard anything. I tried to will my tigress to go to his father, protect him the way she protected Reid's grandfather. she returned within 2 minutes shaking her head no. Then I got worried. I texted Malcolm, asking what was up. 10 minutes later, I get a text back. He just passed... he went peacefully. That's why the tigress wouldn't stay.
All of this week, I've been there for Malcolm. He needs me, my healing abilities, my specialty in dealing with this sort of situations. That's why Reid let me go... I was needed by someone else. I doubt Reid knew of this when he released me. But all the pieces are falling into place.
I'm realizing that my main purpose here on the earth is to heal people. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I'm to show Malcolm his father is with him always, to never feel alone, to help him to heal at one of his weakest points.
There's a reason for everything. There's a reason people who are about to deal with a great loss yet know nothing of it can subconciously find me. Their spirit's recognize my spirit is a compassionate healer. And that, is incredibly amazing to me.
Mood: Amazed
Listening To: Lullaby - The Spill Canvas
Jordan - My cousin, and one of my best friends. Lost her father Thanksgiving day when I was 11. The first time I had to deal with anything on this level, and I still have to help her through certain times when she misses him today...
Jamee - A girl I had just become fairly good friends with right before her sister died to cancer. I was there for her when she needed me most. And when we couldn't take as much of each other any more, we drifted apart.
Ryan - My first 'boyfriend', lost his father 2 months before we got together... Something about me drew him to me for a time. He lost his uncle while we were together, and two grandparents afterwards... Learned a LOT through him.
Around here I start getting visits from a tigress in my dreams. She is apart of me, but much more vicious. In one dream, she knocked Ryan unconcious. From that point in real life, we haven't talked hardly at all.
Bo - A guy I used to have a thing for... but that's another saga in itself. The tigress killed him in a dream. Ripped out his jugular and watched him die, choking in his own blood. She was protecting herself.
Reid - Had a grandfather who had complications with his heart one night, and was flown to the hospital in Amarillo. Reid was freaking out... I fell asleep, and dreamt of his grandfather's hospital room, my tigress lying on the foot of his Grandad's hospital bed, protectively, and using her energy to heal him. The first time I had seen my tigress in a light that offered hope, instead of destruction.
Malcolm - His father has been battling cancer for the past 5 years... Around the start of school, Malcolm realized he's attracted to me, but doesn't know why. A few weeks ago, his father went back to the hospital, but was set to be realeased last Monday. Not 3 blocks from the hospital, his father has an aneurysm. Malcolm comes to see me at 9:30 before taking off to Lubbock to see his father; said he had to come see me before he left. I hugged him and hoped everything would be alright. About 11:30, I hadn't heard anything. I tried to will my tigress to go to his father, protect him the way she protected Reid's grandfather. she returned within 2 minutes shaking her head no. Then I got worried. I texted Malcolm, asking what was up. 10 minutes later, I get a text back. He just passed... he went peacefully. That's why the tigress wouldn't stay.
All of this week, I've been there for Malcolm. He needs me, my healing abilities, my specialty in dealing with this sort of situations. That's why Reid let me go... I was needed by someone else. I doubt Reid knew of this when he released me. But all the pieces are falling into place.
I'm realizing that my main purpose here on the earth is to heal people. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I'm to show Malcolm his father is with him always, to never feel alone, to help him to heal at one of his weakest points.
There's a reason for everything. There's a reason people who are about to deal with a great loss yet know nothing of it can subconciously find me. Their spirit's recognize my spirit is a compassionate healer. And that, is incredibly amazing to me.
Mood: Amazed
Listening To: Lullaby - The Spill Canvas
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